While talking with someone who I have some influence in their life I was given the opportunity to share some things I have learned about working with people. We seem to make commitments and at times break them. Oh, there are all kinds of reasons for doing this, and we believe it is necessary for one reason or another. It is our desire that no one is put out, disappointed or discouraged, if we have the time to think through our decisions, yet at times we cause people to be irritated with us, even though we feel we have sufficiently explained to them why we are changing our commitment. Our conversation through email went something like this shortly after someone had changed their commitment to this person.
I understand your irritation. For many years every time someone would “let me down” by not following through on their commitment as I understood the commitment it felt like a personal attack, a person not caring about me, nevertheless I would cover for them by doing their job or by finding someone else to do it. I would not be happy for some time, quite irritated at them. Now, I realize that their decisions are between them and God, it is not about me any more – I have no control over it. I can’t guilt them into fulfilling what they have told me they would do. Yet I don’t encourage them that what they are doing is right either. I choose to say to them, “You have to determine what God’s will is for your life and then do it. I don’t have to like it, but I am not responsible for your decisions.”
People do not see that every decision we make impacts someone else, even if we believe it doesn’t. I am then put in a position of choice. I can get irritated as I have done for so many years, or I can recognize it isn’t about me and it is about them learning to follow through on what God has told them. So many people believe that God changes His mind with their emotions – He doesn’t, but they think He does so when they decide to do something else they choose to leave God’s original plan He has told them, and move to something else largely due to their circumstances impacting their emotions.
While you have a strong ethic about finishing what you have committed to, many people do not. Sadly, many Christians do not. So you can allow them to impact your emotions and irritate you, or you can release them to God and ask Him “what’s next? What do you want to do to take care of what they have dropped in my life?” Then begins the wonderful experience of listening to God to see what He is going to do. Again and again Moses would tell the people what God said He would do – Take care of them and provide for their needs. When their circumstances seemed to point contrary to what God had promised, they would allow their emotions to control their decisions and it would impact Moses. Eventually, after years and years, it wore Moses down and he allowed his emotions to control his decision making and it cost him going into the promised land.
Learn this one early in life, don’t let others decisions so impact your emotions that you let them control your reaction or response. There are things you cannot change, let them go into God’s hands, He will honor you for this obedience and He will bless you. Learn from one who after half a century has seen this over and over in life and ministry. It will cause your life to be less stressful and more enjoyable if your trust is in God alone.
